hmmmmm

See this is me! I can say I am very good at yapping. Remember I had promised to write regularly but as usual I lived to the utmost expectation of my inner lazy soul of not writing of course. Now I can say that writing is like inventing something, a scientist thingy, which sometimes we wonder why certain things were invented but then its ok, its important to them.

Ok, coming back to me, quite recently I’ve discovered that I feel ashamed when my friends, family, colleagues or even my land lady introduce me as a writer, its like wtf….I am not a writer in fact I am a shame on the entire community of writers, I am a writer who does not write for weeks together, a writer who left her job as a principal correspondent with a largest selling newspaper in the world and loves to just talk books and not read them regularly. In order to console myself I searched for writer with whom I share my birthday and I was happy to find Agatha Christie (yup I share the same surname), Ann Beattie, Cyril Connolly some of the names I know. So I researched and figured they became great literary figures at 40 or 45, I consoled myself as I have time to laze a bit more. But then I must write regularly. God what should I do

This is motivating

To begin with, I'm overwhelmed with the response I got for my so called writing skills I need to thank a lot of friends who have given their candid opinion. My sister thinks I am rude but hey this is an online diary and there is no one to edit it so I don’t care as far as I am given the opportunity to let my angst out on the poor word document…. So sis chill (this is for you)

Ok, now coming back I’ve promised myself to be a sincere blogger…mainly because it’s a shame on me for not pursuing my hobby of writing and learning the guitar, I mean I procrastinate procrastination can you beat that. Since I am getting used to this entire arena I’ll need time to churn out my vivid thoughts that come randomly so many times.

I can rant about a lot of things right now but then I am afraid that it might get over very soon and I may have nothing left to write.

I said it: Is it ok to keep the best for last

I here by promise

Writing was and always will be fun for me. I am one of the millions who say ‘I am writer’ J and feel good about it because my chin goes up with pride when I see the raised eyebrows of random people who wonder ‘huh, this lady….. A writer?’ but then I feel good of showing my expertise as a writer (god there I go again)

Sometimes I write because I get paid for it, sometime because I don’t know what else I can do and sometimes I write because I feel like shit (well I will tell you guys in future about the shitty feelings, let me get comfortable first). Actually, I always wanted to blog and I joined the community some three years back expecting to be ‘the’ Shoba De of the blogosphere (look who’s talking!) but as usual I felt like shit, I kept judging my own abilities and kept procrastinating about writing seriously. Now it’s like WTF, I don’t care even if someone reads or not, I am going to write what I want to write… even if its shit I don’t care……. I need a vent and this is one of the best mediums of doing that. So here I go promising myself to write my heart out and creating as many short, stupid, and strange blogs as possible, if you guys want you can read it. Hey please read them people…. Keeps me motivated at least let me know if I am doing a shitty job.

p.s. What with the word ‘shit’ oh ya may be I need to go to the toilet J

Things I promise I will never blog on:

Politics:

I know nuts about the ‘P’ word except when I want to ‘pee’…so I rather leave it to experts.

New Movies:

Yes I am not going to dump my opinions on new movies because there are thousands of critics to do that and they do a pretty good job of raping a movie with verbal diarrhea.

New Books:

Again I am not a critic I am just a single faceted person who knows nothing but to write about what I feel. I am no one to analyze the great gutsy fella to comment on his/her skills…atleast that person had the balls of getting them published and then read his book being ripped apart by….you know who!!!

Love:

Its such a loaded word that Shakespeare died writing about, although I love that guy for his literary skills, I am a fool if I judge him……and no one can write about love there are many others who do it

Things I promise to write

Friends:

Yes my friends, though I have a selected number, they add to meaning to this so called boring life of mine.

Loneliness:

Ok! I will try not to be a nerd by giving all the stupid explanations of being lonely but the amount of fun you can have when you are actually lonely for more than a year literally sob… sob…

Life

I’m no expert in this matter but from my point of view I’ve seen life a full circle…a 360 degree angle…the latter blogs will tell you guys about it…let me see how many of you read it.

Work

I love to bitch about my work place though the job pays my rent, bills, food and many other necessities but hey who cares everyone needs a vent to share their boring so called work life and since I am alone I will talk to my friends about my job through this blog.

There are many other aspects, which I will write on, I cant remember them right now, give me some time and I promise to keep this segment updated….

I said it

Promises are to be broken

A Loner's Diary

I've seen so many faces of life that by now I am sure it must have exhausted. I don't know what to do... how to escape this trauma or can someone give me some tips to escape this. This place is like a prostitute, when you look at it you want to get closer to it, feel it and live with it, but once you are in it you want to escape it but now you can't its already too late and the same has happened to me.

Loneliness kills but I can't help it because I am one of the kind who would like to chill with a cup of coffee and watch a movie on my ipod rather than being a wannabe who just tries to 'gel' with others trying to be one of them. The one person whom I miss the most is my mother, she is my universe and I want to stay within her care for ever and ever..... But there are some things in life that you cannot control. Sometimes I feel I can change him or her but then I forget that I am not Christ.

Missing the rains

No matter where you are dosen't matter sometimes..... you can be living on the best place across the planet..... but what brings true smile and happiness is the nostalgia of a place you always called home.

The same applies to me now.... i have been away from home for more than three months and i miss it terribly.... I miss mumbai no no amchi mumbai. If you are mumbaikar reading this mail then "kase aahat tumhi"? feels good seriously. After being away from home from such a long time i can now imagine what it feels when you miss the first rain, the smell of wet mud and biting that corn near bandstand..... Getting wet with my pet dog and smelling the hot tea that is brewing near the chaiwala.... Hmmmmm can't resist it anymore.

My message to all those who want to run away from mumbai because of its 'gandangi' or 'gardi' is simply this; You never know how much you will miss it when you actually leave it.... there were some fools who wanted to run away and I am one of them.